Most people believe that men have affairs for sex. However, men often have affairs because they look to women to affirm their value and reason for existence. When this occurs, the men have failed long before an affair even took place. "Give not your strength to women, nor your ways to that which destroys kings." - Proverbs 31:3.
While this verse naturally instructs men to avoid using women outside of their marriage to fulfill them, it also instructs men to be careful about placing their wife as their foundation. The foundation for your marriage is critical for preserving it. "Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." - Matthew 7:24-27.
So how should we prioritize our marriage to preserve it? Keep reading at 3 Tiers to Protect Your Marriage: Part II
This post was reposted from http://finlit.biz/marriage/3-tiers-to-protect-your-marriage-part-i/, originally written on July 8th, 2013.
From Hannah
Btw, Proverbs 31:3 concerns how a king should behave, not an individual. Context matters. If you want to follow a stone age tribe that hates women among other minorities, and if you want to help people to help themselves, there are kinder ways. Selfishness is not the way. Best to you!
From Hannah
“Broken dreams” perfectly sums up my point about the focus here. You also made some good points. But religion does not necessarily equal good character, and divorce disproportionately harms women and benefits men (also, off-topic but potentially interesting and very much against popular stereotypes: men are much happier and healthier when married than single, and women much happier when single than married — I wonder why?).
I don’t mean to derail your posts — just providing an alternate view, and happy to take it offline. Sometimes hearing differing views can be useful. Good luck to you, and try to trust a little more in yourself rather than what others may wish you to believe.
From Scott Izu
Hannah, thanks for the response. If you are looking for straight financial advice, Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman have some great resources and books available. However, thoughts control beliefs and beliefs will determine your actions and actions will lead to your life’s results. That said, to truly succeed financially, it helps to model the thoughts of those who have had financial success. There are many who have succeeded before you financially and you have access to read a book that wraps up 80 years of their knowledge, experience and wisdom. You can stand on the shoulder’s of giants, so to speak. What I have found is that those individuals who have succeeded financially have supreme character and have the capability to live their lives based on certain fundamental principles.
Just some statistics on divorce. Divorce rates are 41% of first time marriages end in divorce and the number one cause is finances, according to http://www.divorce.com. Financially speaking, divorces lead to damaged credit scores, bankruptcies and broken dreams.
From Hannah
It struck me forcefully that this website has become a thinly veiled attempt to make sense of your own life and deep marital and other problems. Of course there is nothing wrong with that, but the veneer of providing financial advice is slipping away with the focus on your religion, divorce, infidelity, and other difficulties. Rather than relying on a contradictory, misogynistic (stone female adulterers!), and small-minded doctrine, you might instead consider consulting a professional therapist. Good luck and best wishes!
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